beach2 by mestiza1987

Can't Think

Just came from bra shopping and a whole lot more. Never thought it would cost me that much. (thousands of bucks). But hey, I've had enough of those cheap-y underwears that eventually wear out after some time. =D The verdict: aaahhlluuvvett! =D Hihi. Never knew it would be this fun. At least, despite the price, it's quality wise and will even make you buy a lot more. =D

I do enjoy buying some things for myself you know.

Been bumming, and online for days, so what do I get? Lots of (and a whole lot more) reprimand from Mom. That hurts to hear, but apparently, I've gotten used to it, so it sort of doesn't affect me anymore. Sadly, she never gets tired and that's oh-so-really bad for me (and for her).

Anyway, I still love my Mom. So much. At the middle of the day, my love for her is scarcely more than any part of the day. Cause that's the time the 'scolding' fades. She's at her greatest bad mood usually in the morning (in waking me up) and at night (during my online hours). There's hardly a day she won't get mad at me, actually.

But, I must say I love her so dearly. That's just it. Plus, she offered to pay for my phone bills a while ago for this month! How lucky am I! I'm soo broke, really. =D

Thank God for my Mom!
beach2 by mestiza1987

I'm Now Free

if only I've been a slave =D

Summer class is over.

The test was fine. Almost. But the process of getting through it is not at all. I crammed my way out of yesterday. Same old horrible experience. Sadly, I was not able to learn from it, over years of practicing that art (of cramming). Not knowing that I'll finish everything up roughly about 30 minutes before the exam. Now who's not gonna die with that? Luckily, I DID get through it. Not with flying colors, as they say, but with condifence and some hint of guilt, and well, timidity.

Class card issuance will be on Friday. Really hoping that I get good grades. hey, I deserve it, don't I?

Will drop by J's place on Friday. And that smells fun fun fun. Will watch DVD and get some coffee, and prolly ciggy breaks at Starbucks phase 1. Yayness.



Just had my venti sized vanilla cream Frap @ Starbucks a while ago, with some friends, right after class. I miss those days. I should do that always, esp now since classes are over. Lech. =D

I want Stabucks cinnamon swirl like right now.

How I wish I've some guy close friend. Really wish. Or of any gender na lang. Or practically anyone, whom I can call up everytime I feel blah (and that happens most of the time) and have some chat over a coffee, killing time at a cafe. Really.

No, I'm not wishing to have a boyf. Not anymore.

Look! I just made a crapy header!
beach2 by mestiza1987

i'm just as lazy

Screw me. Was supposed to be studying for finals tomorrow. But heck, here I am, Lj-ing and surfing for hours. I haven't really studied that much for finals. I want to kill myself. I promised Mom that I'll be studying, but I sneaked out, since they're all away, and this house is left with me, the sister and the maid. Oh Gawd. When will I stop cramming? Men, I really have to study ASAP. Like now.

Just watched Memoirs of a Geisha on DVD a while ago and I liked it. Oh, uhm, also MI: III and Poseidon at the movie house. Whew, 2 movies a week! I'm that movie buff. I liked MI: III because I had fun watching it: the effects and all. But I didn't liked Poseidon though. So predictable, and really really boring.

Ok, now na. I'm gonna study na. Someone might caught me, ooopppsssie.

p.s. I now got the Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack! Yayness! I know I'm gonna love it! Really!
beach2 by mestiza1987

rainy days are here again

It's been raining constantly today since Morning. And I must say that I love it. I think there's a storm and Manila's on signal no. 1. How lovely. Am I that baD? Well it's just that I really missed this kind of weather and I am really really happy about that. The cold breeze of air, and not having that sticky feeling I've been through this past weeks is fun. And I also love that I could just lounge around the bed all day, and just be a lazy bug. Isn't it that when it's cold you'd love to just stay right at home? I did, and I love the feeling of not wanting to go out, and kill time at the mall, just to beat the summer heat. Plus, actually, at this time of day, I haven't took my bath yet. And well, I don't really feel that hot. Love it.

I've been constipated for weeks now. I think I have this chronic constipation thingy. I've been taking laxative meds since Thursday and it's only now that it worked. Really, that's something. I want to see a doctor, but I'm just as well intimidated to do so. Cause what if, it's just plain nothing? Ho-hum. I think I just have to drink lots of agua and uhm, if that doesn't work, I'll take meds again. =)

Finals will be on Monday. It's from 8am to 12pm. That's four grueling hours of two sets of examination, a hundred item each. That's a lot. I really want to ace it. So I'm gonna work for it. Starting tonight. I never want to cram again. I don't like the feeling. =)

I'm wishing myself luck for all of the things I just blogged about. Hihi.
beach2 by mestiza1987

brain partly off from schoolwork

Shoot me. You know you're busy when you can't even manage to be online for days, because all you think of is school school school.

I've been implausibly busy, like shit. Hell yeah. But I love the feeling ha. Lalo na if you get good results, and all that. Plus, you get to reward yourself, which I actually did. Read: Guilt-free this time.

I was motivated. Really motivated. Though far-fetched, but I was. I still am.

Kasi naman, the sister's been talking a lot about school, yada dada. And how she got good grades and all. Plus, she talks about the whole 'been there, done that' lecture I was in, two semesters ago. Damn shit, I can be as good as her too. Naman. Kaya naman, I worked my way out of everyday, struggling through sleepless nights just so to be able to ace my everyday quizzes. Glad I was able to endure everyday, and still driven to go on with life like this for another week - and keep it up. I've got good grades, as aforementioned, 19/20, 9/15, 14/15, 14/15. O dibah. I can do it pala.

I've always been like this. I always need to be substantiated just to realize my worth, and how can I go through it - and sail through it. I mean, it's silly, to be able to be termed as an idiot first before I can actually be well, uhm ... successful? Really silly.

But hey, that's how life is. And that's how my life is, was, and will always be. I love the sparkle. Yikes.

p.s. with driving, I'm now on the right way of learning it.

p.p.s. I've improved, as my instructor told me.

p.p.p.s Still, my mom won't allow me to drive her car.

p.p.p.p.s and it sucks, well yeah. But at least now, I can.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined
beach2 by mestiza1987

I'm Finally Done

With my community duty, that is. I'm all worn out and dead tired but I was able to catch up with my sleep when I arrived home late afternoon a while ago. This week has been a lot to me - five whole days spent outside under the scourging heat of the sun - just so, to add up to my "need to do's" to complete my summer class. Well, it's not really done yet, I still have two whole weeks of lecture, all for only a subject: NCM 100. Good thing, next week (and the other week), everydays will be only half day, so I've got the last half of the day for study, paper works, bumming, procastinating and so on. I'm now past halfway through my summer classes. And I've got this mixed feelings of happiness, and well, hesitation.

The past week are really tiring, but all worth it. I've got to be with the best clinical group I've had, and this will be our last duty. We spent most of it, goofing around, and pretty much enjoying everyday, living everything up to the fullest since it will be our last duty together. I also got to visit and study about people living in low cost and congested community. Really, I can't help but just stare with them with a tinge of thankfulness deep within me. Ironically, I am not so happy with my life right now. I was never contented as I've said in the previous posts. I'm quite aware of this feeling, and I hate myself for that. Well, the experience have made me see the beauty of life. I'm luckier than the community I spent with this week. Anyway, I did feel the blessing in my life but not really. I believe, that's a gradual process, and I do hope that I'll get to realize everything as time goes by.

All the hard work, tiring days, sleepless nights spent for my paper works - and everything else paid off. And I'm glad about that. I've got a 93% on my evaluation exam, 90% for my requirement papers overall, and 87% for the whole community setting assignment. That's a lot for me. =) And oh, the earnest experience and knowledge tops my list too.

I'm actually feeling unbelievably productive now. So unlike me, in the past weeks. It feels good, certainly to be like this: to know that you've been into something, experienced it, seized it, and learned a lot from it.

Though, as with my aforementioned feeling of hesitation to pursue this, I'm past halfway done the summer classes. Everything is almost over and that means being away from my blockmates. So different from the last block section I've been with, this semester's been really really fun, and whom I shared a close connection and bonding with. I really really wish that we could stay, but sadly we can't. I've been throught lots of reshuffling thingy in my whole college life, so as much as I hope that I'll still stay with them, I should let them go. Or else it'll be a lot harder to me. Probably, the least that I could do is to spend everything to the fullest, and have fun without any constraints. It's our last time to be together anyway.

And, as a reward for myself for learning so much, and getting good grades for the past community duty: I'll be treating myself for a much needed shopping, a good book, and a deliciously flavored cinnamon streusels latte tomorrow! =)

Perhaps I could also add some ciggy break. But doing that alone isn't so much fun. I need to call J up. hihi.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
beach2 by mestiza1987

Whew

Whew.

I've gotten this far without updating. So not like me. Since I really enjoy doing this blog, and coming here from time to time. Well, I've been busy. For nothing actually.

Life has been pretty much mundane these days. I'm starting to see my status quo life in a way that it sucks, but I refuse to. I realized that this sort of consistency of every happenings of my life now, I'll somehow miss when I get back to school in roughly two days. Whew. That soon. You see, everything I do now is sort of a routine: I wake up really late, get out with the fam, eat out, stroll at the mall, be home by pm, NOT eat, then by night, spend my time fiddling around the pc doing some unimportant tasks, then go to bed really late (by morning, should i say). That boring eh? Anyway, I know I'm gonna miss this kind of life. Just that I'm wishing that I'll not miss it that much, and that I won't have any regrets of doing nothing in this whole week vacation.

I enjoyed it really.

Sadly, I think my going out with J will be not be pushed through since, er, I don't really know why. Geee. I really am dying to go out - without the family. With friends, that is.

I'm loving the new layout. Thanks reversescollide! =)

The car. Yeah. It's here now at our home. It's ours now - though my sister keeps on claiming that it's hers - but then, my mother always insists that it's ours - HERS and MINE. No more, no less. Teehhheee. Albeit I don't drive that well (as my sister does). I know I have a lot more to learn - and I'm working out on that. Driving lessons will resume this Sunday. I've got to put some extra effort with it since the WHOLE f*cking 3 hours are dedicated to me, and to me alone. Luckily for her, my sister's gonna try out the car on the way to her school on that same day with my Tita. So I'm not using that one. My bad, should have learned more earlier. So I won't have this kind of angst inside me. Thank you.

Currently downloading some songs, and yeah, checking out blogs.

Been reading two books - Geisha (the long overdue one) and He's Not Just That Into You. The latter's so funny, I could totally relate myself with it. Now I know. My past guys are not just that into me huh! Well, it's all your lost. Hahaha. Kidding.

I need to sleep early. My Mom's so so mad at me right now for staying up this late. =)
  • Current Mood
    complacent complacent
beach2 by mestiza1987

on soda and love and some other things

I had coke at dinner a while ago. So what? Well, I haven't had it for ages as my cuttingdownoncalories goal. Thank God I was able to outlive it for the past months or years or so. Anyway, I actually forgot how it taste. Exag, well yeah. And I realized that hey, it still taste good (of course no, whacko.) =). But I'm never drinking it, ever again. Why? Cause it's unhealthy. Yeah right, then why? Cause I don't really know. Well, damn me to say it's unhealthy without even knowing how. But I do know it is. Really. Swear, I've read a lot of articles about it being unhealthy, and that's what been running on my subconcious mind that's why I'm never gonna have it. Ever. Again.

I talked with J today, and spent hours on the phone. Bummer huh. Anyway. She's been telling me stories of how she and P brawled about some silly, crappy, and really worthless thing last night. I pity her that she had to suffer, and ache and oh well. She tells me how terrible love could be and how lucky am I to be loveless for ages and boyfriendless since birth. Yeah right. I do understand her. And how she sees me sometimes as a lucky one. But hey, can't you all get the fact that I do really want to experience love, and how it is to be hurt by love? K, k. I'm feeling that desperate. But I believe I don't appear to be one. (Well at least, just here on this lj, I appear to be) Anyway to feel and to appear are two different things. Just that I don't have that much guts to be desperate. And I don't wanna be, cause it's just plain, er, desperate. Terrible.

I've been catching up my reading on my Geisha book. I really have to finish it before this week ends. Cause I'm gonna buy myself one as a gift. Yay. Haha. I don't wanna buy without finishing the Geisha one, cause I'll just be adding up another book to my pile of unread and I think,willneverbereadagainbookscozitsboring, and all. Now who wants that? I definitely don't.

So, I'm gonna have some karaoke galore tonight with my Mom and two sisters as my audience. I promised my Mom that I'm gonna sing heaps of songs for them tonight. Cause you know, I miss singing so much cause it's been ages since I last sang. Swear, I still sing good. I believe. Really believe. Even without practice? OKay, I admit, I don't think so. Anymore. Hihi.

It's terribly so damn hot today.
  • Current Mood
    indifferent indifferent
beach2 by mestiza1987

hey, you know what

I kind of wasted this day. Primarily because what I did is mostly unproductive: being a lazy bum on the sofa and read, slacking myself in the computer and hop around worthless sites, and oh, well sleep - that's what I really did. Crazy. =) Weird cause my Mom didn't nag at me. Fortunately, should I say. Anyhow. We didn't go out since it's Good Friday. So what? Haha. We never go out on Good Friday. And it's damn hot here. Okay, so I'm not really complaining about staying home, and doing nothing, cause I definitely missed this kind of life while I was on duty in the previous weeks. Thank God, I still have another week to be like this.

I remember I was once like this at this time of last year. How I'm pissed with my PhilGov subject cause it's uberly boring and I feel that it's useless. Now I'm laughing at myself. Oh, the beauty of putting your feelings into words. You've got something to look back at. =) At least you've known that you've grown and you got to realize some things. Oh, and laugh at yourself too.

I don't know if we're going out tomorrow or not. But I really hope we do. I'm stuck here at home and boredom kills me.

To surpass boredom I've been reading books, my favorite textbooks in college (Nursing fundamentals and MCP), and my Geisha book. Funny, I've been reading this for months and never get to finish it. Cause I find it really boring. I need to buy a new book.

Jas texted me and asked me to go out. Of course, I never turned her down. I've been dying to got to Town next week and to be with her there is great! =) Problem is, I don't exactly know how will I tell my Mom about it. Most likely, she'll not allow me even if I'll tell her that I'mgonnawastesomemoney in most appropriate and acceptable words. Cause funny thing is, she never will. So, uhm, I think I'll just tell her that I need to go to school to run some errands. I'm that bad. Haha

I'm just hoping she'll never caught me.
  • Current Mood
    ditzy ditzy